Trip to Jamaica - Departure 2

Continuing with my departure

An announcement was made that they would be boarding. Executive or business class, old and babies first. Then from back to front which made sense.

When I got up to board, I saw one woman with 3 carry on lugguage and 2 handbags......uuuuum somebody back me up, but I thought you are only allowed 1....so Mr. Checker tell har sey nah go happen, she start to cuss..... I was right behind her so I stepped around and started to board.

When mi step pon the plane, WOAH!!!! hold up whey di rest a di plane deh.....nah ah, mi look up, through the window , along the side panel fi see if the number fi the aircraft is there.... Cuz mi mus deh pon di wrong plane. When mi look up, mi was nose and nose wid the FA.

FA: "welcome aboard miss Mott and have a safe flight"
Me: (trying to smile sweetly) but end up rolling mi eyes and muttered thank you, thinking sey after mi pass business class di plane get bigger. well guess what, the plane look like it got smaller and smaller. (kiss teeth.

So counting down the aisle and locating my seat, mi see a head inna mi spot. It was a man, look like him press him hair.

Me:"uuuum excuse"
Man: "yes and flash two goldteeth" nearly blind me
Me: "that's my seat"
Man: "aright darling no problem"

Whew, mi think mi would have to bruk a fight fi get mi seat.

Man at end:"since you a di woman, yuh fi si down inna di middle.
Already ticked off that plane small, mi cut mi eye, and try fi smile cuz bossman yuh a tek up all the air by talking......shhhh be quiet.

So having settle down, after 10 min mi start to get antsy...... You see, I am clusterphobic, mi clothes start feel tight, mi want to get off the plane. So I called big puss and him talk to me.

The plane started pulling out onto the runway and then stop for about 20 min..... Mi almost mad.....come on, come on Mr. Driver nuh badda wid the haul and pull up, if you a go.....gwan. (meanwhile mi twist, mi turn, mi kiss mi teeth, mi sigh, mi start to pray)

Lawd mi and yuh a best friend right? ( no answer) right?.....so I felt a little calmer. Yuh mek mi come live wid yuh right? Aright. Alright Mr. Driver lick shot..... Me and Jesus got this.

Well apparently only Jesus had it, cause me was a mess, Mr. gold teeth nuh stop grin wid mi, and Mr. at the man nuh stop talk......hello!!!! yuh still taking up mi air and mi need all a it fi breathe. So the plane tek off, and was going straight and smooth, till Mr. Plane driver decide sey him a turn, See Ya, mi stomach still deh pon da plane deh......Mr. Plane driver mi sey fly straight no turning, mi stomach cyan tek it.

So we leveled off, and smooth sailing, till we hit a 3-5 sec turburlence, LAWD YUH MEMBA WI DEAL right? Yuh mek mi come live wid yuh? Then it was smooth cruising from there.

Well there you have it folks, big, feisty mouth Missy here fraid fi fly...... Coward man keep sound bone...

Peace